From the Soul - knowing more is power

I’ve been married before. Yup. I asked for divorce in 2024. He left the next morning and it was official within months. It’s realllyyy no big deal. I swear. I’m not getting into the nitty gritty here but just know that I was a 26 year old divorcee.

And you know what I never realized until I met my current boyfriend? Being a divorcee is actually a good thing.

When you do something for the first time many things are usually true. It’s not perfect. You’re learning. And most importantly, it gives you perspective for the future.

I now have everything I never thought was possible. My family loves my boyfriend. They love how he loves me. And I now love with the perspective of knowing what a marriage commitment is. When my current boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend, I knew the weight of what it could become. And I was EXCITED ABOUT IT. When he moved in I was EXCITED. When we hit our one year I was so so proud. Most importantly, when we talk excitedly about marriage and children, I come with knowledge of what I want and what I do not want .

I know what I want and I’m so lucky I found him.

Same with art. Poetry. Anything really. I know my paintings today are better than they were a year, two years, three years ago. Because I’ve learned. I paint knowing to paint for me and what I love. Because I know painting to sell or for trends isn’t what sets me on fire and you can see the lack of emotion in the work. And guess what? The stuff you make to sell - usually doesn’t sell like you want it to. Would I have known that when I painted to sell? No. I know it now because I did it and now I know more. So now I paint with a more refined taste and more knowledge. I know what does not work and I know what works for me.

As humans we glorify getting it right the first time. And I’ve been victim to that countless times.

People usually don’t want to admit they’ve been divorced. Or they had a business that failed 5 years ago. The first basketball team they were on went 2-12. They were put on a performance plan at one of their first jobs for not meeting goals.

It’s okay to “fail”. But I like to think of failures as learned experiences. If you don’t make mistakes, how can you appreciate when you don’t? When everything goes right?

As I always say - every rejection is a redirection. Xoxo